What are red flags when you’re dating someone? When you first start dating a guy, it can be hard to tell what kind of person he is. You might even ignore some warning signs because they seem like no big deal or you really like the person. But if he has lots of red flags, there’s a good chance that he’s not worth your time. Here are six things to look out for:
He has a temper
Is he quick to get angry? Does he yell and break things when he doesn’t get his way? If so, you might want to run away from this guy! You should never have to put up with someone who gets physical or yells at you over little things. This can be a sign that he will lose his temper in more critical situations too.
If your new guy gets angry over little things, it’s a big red flag. It means he doesn’t like to take responsibility for his actions—he blames others instead of looking at what he did wrong. He thinks the world revolves around him and can’t deal with reality. You deserve better than this!
He won’t talk about his past
Every person in the world has a past. This includes ex-girlfriends, crazy nights out, family drama. If your boyfriend won’t talk about his past or avoids answering questions about it, he’s probably trying to hide something!
Maybe there are reasons why you should be worried if someone doesn’t want to discuss their past. First, look at how serious the issue is—if it’s really bad, they’ll have trouble opening up. But if it’s minor or silly (for example, he went through a wild phase when he was younger and did drugs), think twice before letting him keep secrets from you. It could be a sign that he doesn’t trust you and wants to keep his private life to himself.
If he doesn’t talk about anything, a background check might be the way to go. This will let you know all about his past. You’ll be able to tell if he has something to hide or not, which could help you decide whether or not you want to date him!
He’s irresponsible with money
Does your boyfriend have trouble taking care of his responsibilities? He might be irresponsible when it comes to money too. If he’s always coming up with excuses for why he can’t pay for dinner or do other basic things, it might be time to cut ties with this guy. Dating someone who is irresponsible makes it hard to count on them, even in small ways. It also means they won’t consider your feelings before acting—they care more about what they want than what you need.
If your new guy can’t even take care of his responsibilities (like paying the rent on time, for example), it’s a sign that he might not be ready to date you. It also means that he will eventually leave you high and dry too. You deserve better than that!
He’s always suspicious
Does your boyfriend constantly accuse you of cheating? Does he demand to know where you are at all times? He might be checking up on you because he doesn’t trust you. This tells you a lot about what kind of person he is, and it isn’t good! Being constantly suspicious is controlling behavior—it shows that this person wants to control who you can talk to or have contact with. And controlling behavior often leads to emotional or physical abuse.
Do you need to keep an eye out for red flags like this? It’s not worth the pain of controlling behavior. If your boyfriend controls who you’re friends with or accuses you of cheating, it’s time to kick him to the curb!
He doesn’t respect your boundaries
People who don’t respect your boundaries are selfish, and they don’t care about how their actions affect other people. This is especially true in relationships—if someone can’t respect your wishes (for example, if you say no to sex), then that means they don’t love or care about you. You deserve better than that!
If he doesn’t listen when you say no, it means he thinks he knows what’s best for you more than you do. He’s more concerned with what he wants than what you need. This can be a sign of controlling behavior, which is never okay!
If your new guy is being disrespectful, it might be time to cut him loose. But, especially if the disrespect is turning into controlling behavior, you deserve someone who will listen to you and protect your boundaries, so don’t settle for anything less!
He’s only nice when he wants something
Does your boyfriend turn into a completely different person around his friends? Or maybe he changes the way he treats you depending on where you are or who else is around? If this isn’t just an occasional thing that happens every now and then, there’s probably a reason for it—and that reason could be that he doesn’t see you as a real person. He’s only acting nice because he wants something from you, whether it’s sex, money, or your attention.
If your new guy acts like a different person around his friends, then there might be something going on that makes him uncomfortable to show his true self around you. Either way, it’s not okay! You deserve someone who will treat you the same no matter where they are—and who won’t use their friends to get what they want.
He never talks about the future
Does your boyfriend avoid talking about anything long-term? Like maybe when you’re having deep conversations late at night or during dinner, he just changes the subject? This could be another sign that he doesn’t see you as a real person with thoughts and feelings. Think about it: If he wasn’t interested in talking about the future, then he probably has no intention of staying around for the long run. That’s not fair to you!
You deserve someone who wants to be with you through thick and thin. Someone who will stick around whether things are good or bad and who knows that your relationship is worth fighting for. You shouldn’t have to beg someone to invest time and energy into making things work —you deserve someone who sees how great you are and makes an effort right from the start.
If your new guy never talks about the future, there might be a reason behind it—and that reason might not be healthy or appropriate for you. Make sure to keep your eyes open for these signs of controlling behavior, and don’t waste another minute with someone who doesn’t treat you like the amazing person that you are!
Do you want to be with someone who sees how special you are? Do you deserve a guy who will treat you well and won’t play games? Don’t waste another minute of your time on someone who doesn’t value your relationship. If any of these seven signs sound familiar, it might be time to say goodbye.
There are plenty of great guys out there—guys who really care about having meaningful relationships with the people they love. You deserve to find someone like that! Don’t settle for less than what you need—and don’t let anyone convince you to settle at all. Instead, surround yourself with people who make you feel amazing, and remember that there are plenty more fish in the sea.