The best thing you can do for someone is to give them hope and make them feel good. People will remember how you helped them through a crisis for the rest of their lives, but not everyone has what it takes to do it right. And it’s possible that many of us hurt our relationships by trying to make our close ones happy when they’re having a hard time dealing with their feelings.
People often feel stifled by all the toxic positivity that comes their way because it makes them feel weighed down, misunderstood, or even like a failure. When someone loses a loved one, they don’t want to hear that everything will be okay or that they will be fine. Also, someone who has lost their job is probably sick of hearing “look at the bright side” and “stay positive.” If you don’t have anything good to say, sometimes all you have to do to keep someone from getting too much of this toxic positivity is to listen to them.
“Toxic positivity is the idea that people should always have a good attitude, no matter how bad or hard things are. “Only good vibes” is one way to live a happy life. “Toxic positivity rejects difficult emotions in favor of a cheerful and positive appearance,” says Dr. Pallavi Joshi, a Consultant Psychologist at Sri Balaji Action Medical Institute in New Delhi.
All emotions need a way to get out
Life isn’t always happy, and you can’t avoid the negative feelings that come with it. All emotions need a way to get out, and people should accept sad, frustrated, sad, angry, and angry feelings just as much as they accept happy feelings.
“It’s great that tough people can bounce back from hard times, but there will always be some pain that stays with them. It’s not really a good way to deal with your feelings. It needs to be healed, and it needs to be seen. Putting a bad spin on feelings like sadness, frustration, grief, anger, and fear can be very harmful in the long run. Because of this, the word “positivity” doesn’t always mean something good. Bhoomeeka Jain, a psychologist and relationship expert who started The Desi Therapist, says that it can lead to gaslighting and much worse.
Dr. Pallavi says that toxic positivity is a way of thinking that goes too far in the positive direction. She says that this way of thinking doesn’t just stress the importance of hope, but also puts down and contradicts any feelings that aren’t very happy or positive.
Antidote to toxic positivity: Be careful with your words
Saying things like “be tough,” “why are you so weak,” “it’s not a big deal,” “don’t be a baby,” and “just look at the bright side.” Don’t you know what these phrases mean? Not only do these things make someone feel much worse, but they also make them feel like their pain isn’t that important.
“They might feel like they are a bother and that their feelings don’t matter. This can lead to the worst kind of being alone. It can make a person feel small and all by themselves. When someone feels this way, they might start to keep things inside, which could be bad for their mental health. “We have to watch what we say because words can hurt,” says psychologist Bhoomeeka Jain.
So, the next time someone is having a hard time, just listen to them. The psychologist comes to the conclusion that just saying “I get it” or “I’m here for you” is enough.